Not long ago we just had a glimpse of Hanekawa's back story with the OVA: Nekomonogatari Kuro. Where what we saw was a transformed Hanekawa while still retaining her own personality inside. It was the incident that created the Neko oddity which was explained to be the stress that has created that oddity.
This time in Hanekawa's own arc, she met a Tora oddity called Kako which at first glance, seems to be another breed of oddity that had ventured into the town. It was only recently that it was explained to be another oddity created by Hanekawa yet again, with another reason other than stress that created the Neko. It was interesting to see how Hanekawa was trying to deduce the identity behind the Tora, with the name "Kako" given to it. Kako could have meant the past. In Senjougahara's point of view, it seemed more of like a pun to her: Trauma (that could have caused the birth of Kako) = Tora-Uma ~ Tiger? O_O
With the fact being laid out to Hanekawa about the oddity's ability, there was the trend of Kako burning down every house that Hanekawa had lived in. First it was her own home, then it was the abandoned school building where she had spent a night, and now it was either Senjougahara's or Araragi's where she had also lived in. Ultimately, this boils down to the keyword "fire"
According to Araragi's Fire Sisters, they associate "fire" with passion and "fire and flame" as a heart in love. That is when the truth finally struck Hanekawa: heart in love: fire with envy. Or jealousy in other words... And that was the true reason behind the birth of Kako. To Hanekawa, she was a person who silently wishes for a pure self, someone who is perfect in all ways and not tainted in any. As a result of this silent wish, she rejects the "impurities" that manifest inside her. Those rejected "impurities" are then born as oddities, separated from her own body, leaving her all pure and perfect. These oddities then uses Hanekawa's negative emotions to fuel their own actions. Like Black Hanekawa which eats on her stress and relieves it by previously hurting others, Kako gets fuel from her jealousy which in turn become the flames that was used to burn down those buildings. So what exactly was Kako's actions related to jealousy? To Hanekawa, her household didn't feel like a true home at all and while staying over at Senjougahara's and Araragi's, she came to know something that she can never achieve or hope to get: A prefect family. As a result of such a jealousy and not wanting to show it on her own face or her own behaviour, she created Kako unknowingly.
As a perfect individual, she believes that she knows everything or seems to know everything until Gaen told her flat she it was the opposite. And that her perfect self wasn't actually perfect, but more like a "fake" image that was created after giving birth to 2 different oddities. Seeing how in previous seasons where even if she was physically hurt by her own parents, she didn't once complain even though it might be the right thing to do. Instead she kept her "perfect" image and apologised instead, from being hurt! It was also hinted over when she first buried a dead cat which presumably gave birth to Black Hanekawa. Her actions wasn't like those of a normal individual, who would bury the dead cat because they felt sorry for the cat or out of sympathy. But to Hanekawa, she did it because she knew that it was the right way to do as someone who is "perfect".
Understanding all this and having to make a choice to protect her loved ones like Senjougahara and Araragi, she resolved to solve all these problems on her own, by making an attempt to accept all those "impurities" back inside her. With Black Hanekawa's help after requested by Hanekawa herself, she attempts to persuade Kako to return to Hanekawa together with her but with the power difference, ultimately Araragi arrives to save the day. Alright, so for the past 4 episodes, exactly where did Araragi disappeared to? Nonetheless his entrance was indeed spectacular with Kokorowatari stabbed right through Kako.
It was there and then, that Hanekawa become honest with her own self, accepting all her flaws and becoming more "human". With her absorbing all her stress and envy back into herself, she became someone who would complain, who would express her jealousy and someone who would learn how to get hurt.
So I guess this's her first time feeling hurt?
Hanekawa's confession at the end was definitely her first too, after accepting who she is and wanting a "change" she confessed straight to Araragi and was rejected, with Araragi having Senjougahara in his heart now. And there we go, a "true" Hanekawa has joined the team.
Looking at how the character's in the series have developed, it really makes you think more about a person's character and how one might wish to behave in real life. According to Hanekawa's actions, it does indeed seem like a easy way out for anyone who wish to reject negative emotions. Let's just say stress that created Black Hanekawa. It is indeed true that stress is something that is unwanted, or something that is better not to have. But without stress, it does prove difficult to perform certain tasks. I mean without stress is good, but where does that extra push in efficiency comes? It can also, through stress, brings out more thinking skills of a person to perform to their best under certain conditions. For envy, I can't really see what's good in having jealousy but it's just normal to be in our lives. You see something better off than you, you'll feel jealous, or someone having something that you want but you're unable to get it, you get jealous. And in terms of love, jealousy comes in pretty simple terms as well. All these are parts and parcel of what defines a human being, or a human being's feelings I would say. It wouldn't be right if these emotions were lacking from a normal human. I mean yes, it might be good for one to lose it but in return for such price to pay like the Kako oddity, it just may not be the right choice. Purposely discarding of such negative emotions does seem to be a little selfish but that was just how Hanekawa was brought up to become: A perfect human. With all those emotions back inside her, now we have a normal girl, who now dares to get hurt and with that, is able to achieve more than what she has already in the past. Embrace every little emotions that you have no matter good or bad, getting hurt on the inside is fine, moving on is more important, accept yourself as who you are.
P.S. Hanekawa should really retain her silver-black hair, looks good on her too :)
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Madoka's 3rd movie Official teaser! :D Can't wait for this to come!
Genei wo Kakeru Taiyou's OP by LiSa - traumerei
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